So this is just a cool picture I got of the Eiffel tower and a French flag that was nearby..

Adapting...

So, I've discovered that there is very little one can do to adequately prepare oneself for something like this.

Maybe I just didn't realize what it would require.

It's hard to describe, but there is this feeling of desperation once you realize that you are staying somewhere for as long as you are.. It truly hit me that I'm going to be in France for 10 1/2 months the first night I arrived at my host family's home. Despite my studying of French, I was not prepared. Despite everything had I read about France, I was not prepared. A lot of it has to do with expectations. A former AFSer once asked us at an orientation what we expect from this. What we expect to happen. Well what can you say? I expect that I'll learn a lot about France... I expect that I'll learn a lot about French.. I expect that school will be difficult to adapt to; I wish she had given us the right answer. We just answered and she never seemed satisfied.

The correct answer: EXPECT TO FEEL A HORRIBLE SENSE OF LACK OF DIRECTION, SELF-EXPRESSION, COMPREHENSION-- KNOWLEDGE IN GENERAL. It was so hard to come to terms with the fact that I would be spending 9 1/2 hours at school for most days.. six days each week.. and that I would not be understanding anything. I spend two-hour classes literally doing nothing. The teachers like to give dictations for notes. If not a dictation, the notes are written on the board in unreadable handwriting. It's like a really fast cursive, that only the French can read.

Everything they say about French food is true, though. Except the stuff abotu them eating escargots all the time-- I haven't even seen it yet. Au début, I didn't like the food. I missed our overly-processed American diet. After week, however, the food is incredible. I can't wait for the next meal. The boulangeries are great, too. These little shops everywhere that pride themselves in the excellent pastries and breads they produce.. They have reason to- it is all so good.

Independence: I find that teenagers are given a lot more independence here. The rules regarding going out-- just tell your parents when, with whom, and for how long. What you're going to do isn't always necessary. My host parents said something about feeling uneasy about me being out after dark without someone. I understand that. I mean naturally, the world is often a different place after dark. Last night I got a glimpse of that, though. I spent the late afternoon and evening in Paris, met a friend there.. it was nice. I rode the train home at about 9:00.. I ended up finding my host brother at the train station in our town, so I walked home with him. As we were walking, I was surprised at how many 'bizarre' people were out roaming the streets. In a suburb! So I will definitely 'fais attention' next time I'm out after dark. When my French improves (assuming that it will), and I get a better sense of direction around paris and the trains and metro (I know Yerres, the town I live in, well enough to not worry about getting home), I should hopefully be able to be more independent in that way.

So in essence, the hardest parts of this so far are: adapting, homesickness, language, the lack of a sense of direction, language, and school. Not so bad, is it? :)

Departing for France...

This morning, at around 2AM, my family and I woke up to go to the first airport... Even though I'm now in my hotel room in New York, it's still hard to believe that this is real. I had a huge problem this morning before we had even left the house: I had lost my wallet. Despite my several attempts to find it... in my room, in the car, in the house, at the last gas station I went to, we could not find it. It gave me this sinking feeling in my chest... I had a lot of money in there... not to mention the debit card, my driver's license, etc. It wasn't until I was being checked in the security at the first airport that I had found it- beneath my laptop at the bottom of my laptop case/carry-on (a place in which my mom and I both searched several times).. It was such a relief to have found it, and then I could focus on the first stages on homesickness...

You see, I didn't really know what to expect in the way of 'homesickness'. I didn't know what I was going to experience, or how, when, or anything for that matter... It came to me in waves of feeling unprepared- losing my wallet, for instance. Also, on the first plane ride, it hit me that I wouldn't be going home for 10 1/2 months... I [finally] realized that this wasn't like my weekend trip to Cedar Point the previous weekend (the one in which I forgot my bathing suit, toothbrush, a pair of sandals...); this was it. I had to trust myself more than usual.. trust that I had packed everything I needed.

So when I arrived in New York, I realized something else: I was carrying everything I would be relying on for ten months... After I claimed my baggage, I had to navigate through this side of New York (Queens, I think). I had to find this 'airtrain', find these phones one uses to call a shuttle for one's hotel, and make it there. I was really lost for a lot of this. And as I was lugging my suitcase around, which was, by the way, two pounds overweight.. a charge of $125.00 that the nice guy at the airport didn't make me pay, it hit me that I was carrying everything I would rely on... A hard to describe homesickness..

So now I'm at my hotel in New York. We're staying here for one night, and leaving for France tomorrow! I am excited, nervous, anxious, happy, sad, scared-- everything. It's incredible.